10 Things I Hate About YOU!

10 Things that people do that drive us barmy……..

1. When somebody calls you, you miss it by a second, so you call them back and they don’t answer – where the hell did they go?!

2. When people stand and chat by stairs, in front of escalators, and in door ways, or walk REALLY slowly in front of you – freaking move!

3. When people walk the wrong way up stairs on the underground, or STAND on the left - it’s right for a reason!

4. When people narrate films – yes, we are watching it, we have eyes, and as complex as this film may be, your narration is actually serving to confuse me more!

5. When someone spends about ten minutes explaining a story (and going off in all sorts of tangents!), whilst you sit there eagerly awaiting something truly groundbreaking, only to find out that the story was completely pointless and boring, and basically, a total waste of your time!

6. When people type like the keyboard has done something to seriously irritate them – stop making so much noise, it irritates us!

7. When women (because let’s face it, it always is) whinge and whine about how much weight they have put on whilst eating a massive bar of chocolate!

8. When people say: "Oh alright, but I’m only having one"…. then you end up having to take them home, clean up their vom, and let them sleep on your sofa – what a fun night I had!

9. When somebody cancels plans an unjustifiably short time before you're supposed to meet them with a really pathetic excuse, and then you see pictures on Facebook 2 days later of where they actually were!

10. When people ring the door bell even though they have the key - we are lazy, but this is just taking it to a whole other level!

Sayings That Should Be Silenced

1).     "We’re going to party like it’s 1999" - This saying was only cool in 1999!

2).     "I’m not trying to be funny..." - Good because you are not, so please stop there!

3).     "Chill out" – Quite possibly the worst thing to say to somebody who actually looks like they need to chill out!

4).     "Epic Failure" - A new saying to the mix, and already incredibly annoying!

5).    "I’m so hungry I could eat a horse" – It doesn't even make sense!

6).     "What a lad!" – Another new one said by most “lads” aged 16-30 that "gets our goat"

7).     "Let’s get on the lash" - Lash? How did this word even become associated with alcohol?!

8).     "At the end of the day…" - What? You’ll stop saying these annoying things?

9).     "Do you know what I mean?..." (said at the end of a sentence) – No not really, explain again please...

10.  "No offence but….."- Said right before they proceed to say something incredibly offensive!

Facebook Faux Pas

1). When people update their Facebook status every 5 minutes. Why would I care that you've just woken up?!

2). When people use their Facebook status to gain sympathy. This backfires when someone "likes" your "I'm so depressed..." comment.

3). When Facebookers put their status (at 3am!) as: "I can't sleep". Yeah, we can see that, but we can actually sleep, so bugger off!

4). When people constantly change their relationship status to: "it's complicated". If it's so "complicated", then it wouldn't be so easy to declare it with one word on Facebook!

5). When people name their photo albums after Rihanna songs. "What's my name?", "Oh na na", and "Shut up and drive" are hardly the most creative titles to detail last night's drunken antics! 

6). When people invite you to events you'd NEVER go to.

7). When people say: "I look so ugly/fat/weird in this picture". Yeah, which is why you uploaded it and then tagged yourself in it.

8). When Facebookers invite you to get a particular App or game. No, I don't want to be a vampire, zombie or farmer, or know which car "suits my personality", I just want to send a quick message without being bombarded with ludicrous invitations!

9). When people tag strangers in the backgrounds of their pictures, e.g. "man with red cap haha"...er... okay....

10). When people you know really well use Facebook as a way of getting in touch with you, rather than just texting or calling you. Shocking as this may be to hear: we actually answer our phone more often than we check our Facebook messages!

Needless to say, if we're being completely honest, between us, we've probably done/do at least 8 or 9 of these. What can we say? Facebook Faux Pas are a contagious phenomenon!

The Top 10 Most Moronic Things TFL (i.e. Total Failure of London) Says and Does:

1). “There will be no service on the London Underground this weekend due to planned industrial action.” Meanwhile, we’ll use that time to install 40 new 12-inch plasma TVs aimlessly placed side-by-side on our escalators.

2). “This escalator has been turned off to save energy.”…at King’s Cross…at rush hour…

3). “This jacket is not designed to cover a thick skin.” -  Ian (the long-haired platform announcer who last year assaulted an old man!)

4). “Our staff are always here to help.” Commuter asks TFL employee: “There are currently severe delays on the Central line, what route should I take?” Response: “Take the Central line.” Right.

5). “We are constantly working to improve our service.” Which is why in 2010 we had a good service on all our London Underground lines for the entire day….once.

6). “Tube fares have increased in order to fund service improvements.” So I guess we’ll just have to take your word for it then?

7). “Feel free to contact us if you have a complaint, and we’ll be sure to get back to you.”.…in about 6-12 months.

8). 18^th October 2010: “We’re currently experiencing some minor delays on the Jubilee line, we should be on the move shortly.”… 2 hours, and several passed-out passengers later, the travellers are informed that they will have to exit the train and walk through the pitch black tunnel until they get to the next platform. They were then kindly requested to swipe their Oyster cards as they exited the station.

9). “The Waterloo and City line is currently suspended between Waterloo and Bank.” So basically, there is no Waterloo and City line.

10). “The Central line has no service between Marble Arch and West Ruislip, the Jubilee line is part suspended between Waterloo and Stanmore due to planned engineering works, the Bakerloo line is experiencing minor delays due to an earlier signal failure at Liverpool Street, the District line has no service between West Brompton and Richmond, the Northern line is experiencing severe delays due to vandalism, on the Hammersmith and City line, there is no service between Liverpool street and Aldgate, there is no Eastbound service between Green Park and Cockfosters on the Piccadilly line due to planned maintenance work, the Metropolitan line has no service between Moorgate and Aldgate, the Circle line is experiencing minor delays due to a signal failure at Bayswater, there is no escalator service on the Waterloo and City line. There is currently a good service operating on all other London Underground Lines.” – Don’t you mean “all other line”?

Even BoJo's shocked!

On a more positive note, there is one thing we do love about taking the tube: the funny platform-announcer at Waterloo who always gets the whole carriage laughing!

The Week of Peeves

We don't know why, but lately Val and I have been getting much more aggravated and annoyed at everyday life than usual! Perhaps it's all of the deadlines, dissertations and exam stress of third year, or because we haven't been able to enjoy the sunshine recently due to spending all daylight hours stuck inside a library! Either way we are peeved off at just about everything. But instead of bottling all of this inside we decided to unleash our frustrations for your enjoyment.


Every evening this week, we will list our top peeves. Monday's for example will be TFL, and each night to follow will list something different that gets our goat...


We welcome your suggestions, so please do leave comments if there is anything in particular in our categories that drives you up the wall, round the bend and back again!


Check back tomorrow night to see what TFL (a.k.a Total Failure of London) does that really peeves us off!





Tuesday - Facebook (those emtional statuses)
Wednesday - Things people say (banter)
Thursday - Things people do (walking the wrong way up stairs)
Friday - Things that happen in everyday life (forgetting our umbrella, only to find a downpour)

The not so "Great Escape"

The other week I read something in ShortList that completely terrified me. I went home and showed it to Val, who was equally disturbed. No, we’re not talking about a weird murder mystery, a psychopath on the loose, or a new Saw-esque thriller starring Justin Bieber (although that would be pretty petrifying!). Instead what scared me was an article about a new Blackberry app….

Val and I are no strangers to technology, we have a Blackberry and an iPhone 4 between us and are both avid users of the app downloads these phones come with, but this new app being launched by Blackberry takes the advancements of technology to a whole new level of creepy. Let us tell you more….

The new BB Travel app allows its users to look up their flight details (which is useful), it alerts the user of any delays and boarding gate details (even more useful), it scans their emails for any flight bookings and creates an itinerary for them (which is great!) And it syncs to your LinkedIn profile to tell you which of your contacts is travelling, when they’re departing, and where they’re heading to, in order to determine the likelihood of you bumping in to them at the aiport (fantas…… wait a minute… that sounds really creepy!)

 

To us, this is a classic case of technology going that step (or more like a gigantic skip, hop and a leap!) too far. Why on earth would you want your LinkedIn connections, presumably including your boss and colleagues, knowing exactly when you decide to get away, where from and where to? Surely taking a holiday and escaping from it should involve a bit of privacy? The Blackberry app makers clearly disagree…

To be honest, we’re worried about what’s going to happen next. Don’t get us wrong, we love our smartphones and we love their apps, but we think we love our privacy just that little bit more!

The not-so-easy access to the World's knowledge...

Right, so this weekend I thought rather than having my usual lie-in, followed by a generous helping of coffee from my beautifully simple, two-buttoned Nespresso machine, and a 45-minute session of aimless facebooking, I thought I’d accompany my fellow housemates to the British library to get a head-start on some coursework.

Now, I was warned by the girls that to be allowed access to the building’s precious reading rooms, I’d need to bring two pieces of identification and a list of the books that I hope to use once I get there. I was also informed that I wouldn’t be able to bring any: liquids (including bottled water!), food (slightly more understandable), pens (with an odd emphasis on “biros”!), handbags, or jackets (which is really convenient considering how cold it is in there), into the reading room. So, before leaving the house, I made sure to pack my passport and ID Card, as well as my well-prepared reading list.

Once we arrived at the British Library, and had gone through their security check at the entrance, we had to cram all of our stuff into a locker. We then had to place those few items that we are allowed to bring into the reading room (so basically, a pencil) into a transparent plastic bag. I then headed to the registration office where I’d show my ID, answer some questions, and hopefully get my British Library Card. It always really excites me when I can add a new card to my purse, although with all the loyalty cards I now own, I’m probably the least “loyal” person in London.

However, once I got into the office, I was told that not only did I need to have two pieces of identification and my reading list, but I also needed an original copy of a document with my proof of address! Well, I didn’t have any, but I wasn’t about to give up that easily, so I took out my trustworthy iPhone, hit the “Around Me” App, and searched for my nearest Barclays where I could print off a bank statement. I found one and headed towards it feeling pleasantly pleased with my tactful use of Apps, and the knowledge that I’d have a new card to add to my collection by the end of the day. Nevertheless, of course once I got there, I realised it was Saturday which means the banks are closed.

I think it’s safe to say that the only “knowledge” I gained from this experience is that the British Library’s Café makes a less-than-decent cup of coffee.