XOXO Gossip Girl

So we know we haven’t blogged in a while, but with exams starting in a few weeks and dissi deadlines drawing ever nearer, we’ve been a bit preoccupied with trying not to kill ourselves! One thing however, that always seems to get us through these difficult times is television. Now, between us, we get through quite a few shows – Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, The Inbetweeners, 90210, How I met your mother, Glee, One Tree Hill, Jersey Shore, The Only Way is Essex, etc. and we love them all! However, recently there’s been one show that’s really been ticking us off – Gossip Girl! And here’s why:

-       Serena tries to act all sweet and innocent, when she’s pretty much a pathological liar with a sex addiction. Let’s just break it down shall we…

-       Every time a guy tells Serena that he’s in love with her, she sleeps with him (Dan Humphrey, Nate Archibald, Carter Baizen)

-       Every time a guy is in a superior position to Serena, she sleeps with him (Trip Vanderbilt – the married politician who was mentoring her, Ben Donovan – her high school teacher, Colin Forrester – her university Professor)

-       And every time a guy expresses any interest in Serena, she sleeps with him! (Pete – the coke addict, Aaron Rose – the artist, Gabriel – the con artist). And let’s not forget all the Frenchies she shacked up with on her and Blair’s trip to Paris in the summer! What’s wrong with her?! Can she just keep it in her pants!

-       And she doesn’t just sleep with them, she spends about 3 episodes trying to convince herself that she’s in love with them, only to end up back with Dan by episode 4!

-       How Chuck talks as if he’s narrating the Phantom of the Opera

-       Serena’s voice

-       Serena’s brother’s voice

-       Do they actually go to university? We have yet to see them in class (unless you count when Serena was doing the dirty with her professor!), and they never seem to have any homework, coursework, readings, exams, or anything even remotely related to doing a degree!

-       How characters are introduced to create a really interesting storyline, and then we never hear about them again, case in point: Scott Rosson – Rufus and Lily’s son. Technically, due to the ridiculous intermarriages of the show’s characters, he is Serena’s, Eric’s, Jenny’s, Dan’s, and Chuck’s stepbrother, but they never see or even hear about him!

- Jenny

-       How Vanessa’s hair extensions make us want to vom!

-       How Vanessa’s eyes are so far apart (we know it’s not really a flaw in the show, but we really feel they should do something about this)

-       Where does Vanessa live when she’s not on Dan’s sofa (or his bed!)?

-       How they get over grudges faster than Jordan/Lily get over husbands

-       How Blair and Serena go from being archenemies to BFFs within the space of a 40 minute episode

-       How everyone has slept with everyone else regardless of whether they’re dating their best friend, a drug-addict, a drug-dealer, pregnant with someone else’s child, a teacher, married, or a relative

We are aware that we’re being completely catty (Vanessa’s eyes), but we’re extremely sleep deprived and our shows are supposed to be the only thing that get us through this difficult time! Nevertheless, despite its shortcomings, we love Gossip Girl and still watch every episode that airs!

Our movie of the weekend!

This week's movie of the weekend has to be the much anticipated box office smash, Limitless. A few weeks ago, we had been riding the tube and fell for the film’s witty advertising stunt promoting “a clear pill that unlocks your full potential”. I’m sure the majority of Londoners have seen it by now (see below), and it was only after discussing how amazing this pill sounded for the next 4 stops, that we finally read the small-print and realised it was a prank. We then saw the trailer that looked awesome, and let’s face it, any film that stars Bradley Cooper as the leading man is hardly going to be a disappointment!

Nevertheless, the film starts out with a longhaired and pretty shabby-looking Cooper walking through the bustling streets of NYC. Now, I’m generally not a fan of the “grunge” look - I definitely prefer my men clean-cut and suited-up - but I must say, Coop didn’t look half bad! This is a classic example of what I like to call the “Captain Jack Sparrow Effect” – i.e when deliberate adjustments are made to a person’s appearance in order to make them appear less attractive, but it actually ends up having the opposite effect. Basically, you can give Johnny Depp: mascara, dreadlocks, and dirty fingernails, and he’ll still end up looking hotter than ever!

So, basic synopsis: Cooper is a writer who’s struggling to find the inspiration to complete (or rather I should say, begin!) writing his novel. When he bumps into an ethically questionable character from his past, he is offered a top-secret drug that will supposedly give him the creativity-boost he needs. After an unjustifiably short debate with himself, he concludes that he’s not got much to lose, so should just try the pill and see what happens. The pill taps into neurones in the brain allowing the individual to use 100% of their brain at a time rather than the usual rumoured 20%. The result: his mind is suddenly unlocked, giving him access to a very organised database of every piece of information he’s ever seen, read, or heard about it. He’s able to complete his novel in 4 days, learn entire languages in a matter of hours, and basically become the perfect version of himself. One thing leads to another, and before you know it, the film spins into an action-packed thriller that brings you to the edge of your seat, stressfully asking yourself: “What happens when the pills run out?!”

Despite its slightly unnecessary gore, the film’s combination of unexpected humour, Cooper in a pair of tight black briefs (followed by some drooling on our part!), and a unique plot that revolves around something every human uniformly desires, lands this week’s film with a solid 10/10!

FML

So we thought we'd end our week of peeves with the things that sometimes happen that really peeve us off. Here are our top 10:


1). It's a sunny morning, you decide not to face the eternal battle of trying to cram your umbrella into your bag and go umbrella commando today, only to step out of the tube on the other side and discover it's now pouring with rain (this is particularly annoying when it's the middle of July!)


2). When you trip on a pothole in the middle of the street, but manage to gracefully turn it into what looks like a weirdly impulsive though deliberate jog, only to then trip again a few seconds later...down some stairs.


3). When you're on your way back home after doing your weekly food shop, and you're looking forward to a nice and easy pasta dinner, when your Tesco bags (yes TWO bags!) break half way across Waterloo bridge.


4). When you've just finished a great piece of work, one you know you could never replicate to such a high standard ever again in your entire life, so obviously this is when your computer crashes/runs out of battery/any other classic computer muck-up, and you lose all your work!



5). When you spend weeks creating the perfect costume for your friend's themed birthday party, only to turn up and be the only one in costume. Turns out, everyone had thought the whole "dressing up" idea was kind of lame and you're the only one who didn't get the memo.


6). When you're about to do the last stage (your hair) of the "getting ready" process for a date, and your hairdryer breaks! Wishing to avoid the embarrassment of exiting the house (and having your date see you like this!) with what can only be described as a "cavewoman" hairdo, you call them up to cancel with an pitiful and poorly-planned excuse.


7). When you wake up with the flu even though you haven't been sick in a year...oh, did we mention this is on the morning of one of your biggest exams?


8). When you're with a group of people you're hoping to impress, and you interrupt someone in a brief pause to chip in with what you feel is the perfect anecdote, only to forget what you're saying half way through your sentence. Typical!


9). When you get home and discover that you've forgotten your keys and you're locked out. You reach into your bag to get out your phone and call one of your housemates to see if they can let you in, only to see that your phone's ran out of battery. You're then left with two choices: either pay to take the journey all the way back from where you came, or sit outside your front door feeling sorry for yourself and wait for one of your housemates (who had previously reminded you several times to charge your phone!) to get home at the end of the day and let you in.


10). You've booked an absurdly early time for your flight tomorrow (feeling it'll allow you to get the most out of your day when you arrive), but you're alarm doesn't go off! Whether by fate or sheer luck, you manage to wake up and, and realising how far behind schedule you are, begin rushing around trying to get ready in the midst of your personal "I'm going to miss my flight!" panic. You finally get to the airport feeling extremely proud of your marathon speed, check in, go through security, and run to the gate praying that the flight hasn't left yet. You get to the gate, but there's no one else there. As it happens, the clocks had gone back by an hour the night before and you just hadn't realised. Now you get to sit at an empty gate for the next hour, yay!