XOXO Gossip Girl

So we know we haven’t blogged in a while, but with exams starting in a few weeks and dissi deadlines drawing ever nearer, we’ve been a bit preoccupied with trying not to kill ourselves! One thing however, that always seems to get us through these difficult times is television. Now, between us, we get through quite a few shows – Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, The Inbetweeners, 90210, How I met your mother, Glee, One Tree Hill, Jersey Shore, The Only Way is Essex, etc. and we love them all! However, recently there’s been one show that’s really been ticking us off – Gossip Girl! And here’s why:

-       Serena tries to act all sweet and innocent, when she’s pretty much a pathological liar with a sex addiction. Let’s just break it down shall we…

-       Every time a guy tells Serena that he’s in love with her, she sleeps with him (Dan Humphrey, Nate Archibald, Carter Baizen)

-       Every time a guy is in a superior position to Serena, she sleeps with him (Trip Vanderbilt – the married politician who was mentoring her, Ben Donovan – her high school teacher, Colin Forrester – her university Professor)

-       And every time a guy expresses any interest in Serena, she sleeps with him! (Pete – the coke addict, Aaron Rose – the artist, Gabriel – the con artist). And let’s not forget all the Frenchies she shacked up with on her and Blair’s trip to Paris in the summer! What’s wrong with her?! Can she just keep it in her pants!

-       And she doesn’t just sleep with them, she spends about 3 episodes trying to convince herself that she’s in love with them, only to end up back with Dan by episode 4!

-       How Chuck talks as if he’s narrating the Phantom of the Opera

-       Serena’s voice

-       Serena’s brother’s voice

-       Do they actually go to university? We have yet to see them in class (unless you count when Serena was doing the dirty with her professor!), and they never seem to have any homework, coursework, readings, exams, or anything even remotely related to doing a degree!

-       How characters are introduced to create a really interesting storyline, and then we never hear about them again, case in point: Scott Rosson – Rufus and Lily’s son. Technically, due to the ridiculous intermarriages of the show’s characters, he is Serena’s, Eric’s, Jenny’s, Dan’s, and Chuck’s stepbrother, but they never see or even hear about him!

- Jenny

-       How Vanessa’s hair extensions make us want to vom!

-       How Vanessa’s eyes are so far apart (we know it’s not really a flaw in the show, but we really feel they should do something about this)

-       Where does Vanessa live when she’s not on Dan’s sofa (or his bed!)?

-       How they get over grudges faster than Jordan/Lily get over husbands

-       How Blair and Serena go from being archenemies to BFFs within the space of a 40 minute episode

-       How everyone has slept with everyone else regardless of whether they’re dating their best friend, a drug-addict, a drug-dealer, pregnant with someone else’s child, a teacher, married, or a relative

We are aware that we’re being completely catty (Vanessa’s eyes), but we’re extremely sleep deprived and our shows are supposed to be the only thing that get us through this difficult time! Nevertheless, despite its shortcomings, we love Gossip Girl and still watch every episode that airs!

Our movie of the weekend!

This week's movie of the weekend has to be the much anticipated box office smash, Limitless. A few weeks ago, we had been riding the tube and fell for the film’s witty advertising stunt promoting “a clear pill that unlocks your full potential”. I’m sure the majority of Londoners have seen it by now (see below), and it was only after discussing how amazing this pill sounded for the next 4 stops, that we finally read the small-print and realised it was a prank. We then saw the trailer that looked awesome, and let’s face it, any film that stars Bradley Cooper as the leading man is hardly going to be a disappointment!

Nevertheless, the film starts out with a longhaired and pretty shabby-looking Cooper walking through the bustling streets of NYC. Now, I’m generally not a fan of the “grunge” look - I definitely prefer my men clean-cut and suited-up - but I must say, Coop didn’t look half bad! This is a classic example of what I like to call the “Captain Jack Sparrow Effect” – i.e when deliberate adjustments are made to a person’s appearance in order to make them appear less attractive, but it actually ends up having the opposite effect. Basically, you can give Johnny Depp: mascara, dreadlocks, and dirty fingernails, and he’ll still end up looking hotter than ever!

So, basic synopsis: Cooper is a writer who’s struggling to find the inspiration to complete (or rather I should say, begin!) writing his novel. When he bumps into an ethically questionable character from his past, he is offered a top-secret drug that will supposedly give him the creativity-boost he needs. After an unjustifiably short debate with himself, he concludes that he’s not got much to lose, so should just try the pill and see what happens. The pill taps into neurones in the brain allowing the individual to use 100% of their brain at a time rather than the usual rumoured 20%. The result: his mind is suddenly unlocked, giving him access to a very organised database of every piece of information he’s ever seen, read, or heard about it. He’s able to complete his novel in 4 days, learn entire languages in a matter of hours, and basically become the perfect version of himself. One thing leads to another, and before you know it, the film spins into an action-packed thriller that brings you to the edge of your seat, stressfully asking yourself: “What happens when the pills run out?!”

Despite its slightly unnecessary gore, the film’s combination of unexpected humour, Cooper in a pair of tight black briefs (followed by some drooling on our part!), and a unique plot that revolves around something every human uniformly desires, lands this week’s film with a solid 10/10!

FML

So we thought we'd end our week of peeves with the things that sometimes happen that really peeve us off. Here are our top 10:


1). It's a sunny morning, you decide not to face the eternal battle of trying to cram your umbrella into your bag and go umbrella commando today, only to step out of the tube on the other side and discover it's now pouring with rain (this is particularly annoying when it's the middle of July!)


2). When you trip on a pothole in the middle of the street, but manage to gracefully turn it into what looks like a weirdly impulsive though deliberate jog, only to then trip again a few seconds later...down some stairs.


3). When you're on your way back home after doing your weekly food shop, and you're looking forward to a nice and easy pasta dinner, when your Tesco bags (yes TWO bags!) break half way across Waterloo bridge.


4). When you've just finished a great piece of work, one you know you could never replicate to such a high standard ever again in your entire life, so obviously this is when your computer crashes/runs out of battery/any other classic computer muck-up, and you lose all your work!



5). When you spend weeks creating the perfect costume for your friend's themed birthday party, only to turn up and be the only one in costume. Turns out, everyone had thought the whole "dressing up" idea was kind of lame and you're the only one who didn't get the memo.


6). When you're about to do the last stage (your hair) of the "getting ready" process for a date, and your hairdryer breaks! Wishing to avoid the embarrassment of exiting the house (and having your date see you like this!) with what can only be described as a "cavewoman" hairdo, you call them up to cancel with an pitiful and poorly-planned excuse.


7). When you wake up with the flu even though you haven't been sick in a year...oh, did we mention this is on the morning of one of your biggest exams?


8). When you're with a group of people you're hoping to impress, and you interrupt someone in a brief pause to chip in with what you feel is the perfect anecdote, only to forget what you're saying half way through your sentence. Typical!


9). When you get home and discover that you've forgotten your keys and you're locked out. You reach into your bag to get out your phone and call one of your housemates to see if they can let you in, only to see that your phone's ran out of battery. You're then left with two choices: either pay to take the journey all the way back from where you came, or sit outside your front door feeling sorry for yourself and wait for one of your housemates (who had previously reminded you several times to charge your phone!) to get home at the end of the day and let you in.


10). You've booked an absurdly early time for your flight tomorrow (feeling it'll allow you to get the most out of your day when you arrive), but you're alarm doesn't go off! Whether by fate or sheer luck, you manage to wake up and, and realising how far behind schedule you are, begin rushing around trying to get ready in the midst of your personal "I'm going to miss my flight!" panic. You finally get to the airport feeling extremely proud of your marathon speed, check in, go through security, and run to the gate praying that the flight hasn't left yet. You get to the gate, but there's no one else there. As it happens, the clocks had gone back by an hour the night before and you just hadn't realised. Now you get to sit at an empty gate for the next hour, yay!

10 Things I Hate About YOU!

10 Things that people do that drive us barmy……..

1. When somebody calls you, you miss it by a second, so you call them back and they don’t answer – where the hell did they go?!

2. When people stand and chat by stairs, in front of escalators, and in door ways, or walk REALLY slowly in front of you – freaking move!

3. When people walk the wrong way up stairs on the underground, or STAND on the left - it’s right for a reason!

4. When people narrate films – yes, we are watching it, we have eyes, and as complex as this film may be, your narration is actually serving to confuse me more!

5. When someone spends about ten minutes explaining a story (and going off in all sorts of tangents!), whilst you sit there eagerly awaiting something truly groundbreaking, only to find out that the story was completely pointless and boring, and basically, a total waste of your time!

6. When people type like the keyboard has done something to seriously irritate them – stop making so much noise, it irritates us!

7. When women (because let’s face it, it always is) whinge and whine about how much weight they have put on whilst eating a massive bar of chocolate!

8. When people say: "Oh alright, but I’m only having one"…. then you end up having to take them home, clean up their vom, and let them sleep on your sofa – what a fun night I had!

9. When somebody cancels plans an unjustifiably short time before you're supposed to meet them with a really pathetic excuse, and then you see pictures on Facebook 2 days later of where they actually were!

10. When people ring the door bell even though they have the key - we are lazy, but this is just taking it to a whole other level!

Sayings That Should Be Silenced

1).     "We’re going to party like it’s 1999" - This saying was only cool in 1999!

2).     "I’m not trying to be funny..." - Good because you are not, so please stop there!

3).     "Chill out" – Quite possibly the worst thing to say to somebody who actually looks like they need to chill out!

4).     "Epic Failure" - A new saying to the mix, and already incredibly annoying!

5).    "I’m so hungry I could eat a horse" – It doesn't even make sense!

6).     "What a lad!" – Another new one said by most “lads” aged 16-30 that "gets our goat"

7).     "Let’s get on the lash" - Lash? How did this word even become associated with alcohol?!

8).     "At the end of the day…" - What? You’ll stop saying these annoying things?

9).     "Do you know what I mean?..." (said at the end of a sentence) – No not really, explain again please...

10.  "No offence but….."- Said right before they proceed to say something incredibly offensive!

Facebook Faux Pas

1). When people update their Facebook status every 5 minutes. Why would I care that you've just woken up?!

2). When people use their Facebook status to gain sympathy. This backfires when someone "likes" your "I'm so depressed..." comment.

3). When Facebookers put their status (at 3am!) as: "I can't sleep". Yeah, we can see that, but we can actually sleep, so bugger off!

4). When people constantly change their relationship status to: "it's complicated". If it's so "complicated", then it wouldn't be so easy to declare it with one word on Facebook!

5). When people name their photo albums after Rihanna songs. "What's my name?", "Oh na na", and "Shut up and drive" are hardly the most creative titles to detail last night's drunken antics! 

6). When people invite you to events you'd NEVER go to.

7). When people say: "I look so ugly/fat/weird in this picture". Yeah, which is why you uploaded it and then tagged yourself in it.

8). When Facebookers invite you to get a particular App or game. No, I don't want to be a vampire, zombie or farmer, or know which car "suits my personality", I just want to send a quick message without being bombarded with ludicrous invitations!

9). When people tag strangers in the backgrounds of their pictures, e.g. "man with red cap haha"...er... okay....

10). When people you know really well use Facebook as a way of getting in touch with you, rather than just texting or calling you. Shocking as this may be to hear: we actually answer our phone more often than we check our Facebook messages!

Needless to say, if we're being completely honest, between us, we've probably done/do at least 8 or 9 of these. What can we say? Facebook Faux Pas are a contagious phenomenon!

The Top 10 Most Moronic Things TFL (i.e. Total Failure of London) Says and Does:

1). “There will be no service on the London Underground this weekend due to planned industrial action.” Meanwhile, we’ll use that time to install 40 new 12-inch plasma TVs aimlessly placed side-by-side on our escalators.

2). “This escalator has been turned off to save energy.”…at King’s Cross…at rush hour…

3). “This jacket is not designed to cover a thick skin.” -  Ian (the long-haired platform announcer who last year assaulted an old man!)

4). “Our staff are always here to help.” Commuter asks TFL employee: “There are currently severe delays on the Central line, what route should I take?” Response: “Take the Central line.” Right.

5). “We are constantly working to improve our service.” Which is why in 2010 we had a good service on all our London Underground lines for the entire day….once.

6). “Tube fares have increased in order to fund service improvements.” So I guess we’ll just have to take your word for it then?

7). “Feel free to contact us if you have a complaint, and we’ll be sure to get back to you.”.…in about 6-12 months.

8). 18^th October 2010: “We’re currently experiencing some minor delays on the Jubilee line, we should be on the move shortly.”… 2 hours, and several passed-out passengers later, the travellers are informed that they will have to exit the train and walk through the pitch black tunnel until they get to the next platform. They were then kindly requested to swipe their Oyster cards as they exited the station.

9). “The Waterloo and City line is currently suspended between Waterloo and Bank.” So basically, there is no Waterloo and City line.

10). “The Central line has no service between Marble Arch and West Ruislip, the Jubilee line is part suspended between Waterloo and Stanmore due to planned engineering works, the Bakerloo line is experiencing minor delays due to an earlier signal failure at Liverpool Street, the District line has no service between West Brompton and Richmond, the Northern line is experiencing severe delays due to vandalism, on the Hammersmith and City line, there is no service between Liverpool street and Aldgate, there is no Eastbound service between Green Park and Cockfosters on the Piccadilly line due to planned maintenance work, the Metropolitan line has no service between Moorgate and Aldgate, the Circle line is experiencing minor delays due to a signal failure at Bayswater, there is no escalator service on the Waterloo and City line. There is currently a good service operating on all other London Underground Lines.” – Don’t you mean “all other line”?

Even BoJo's shocked!

On a more positive note, there is one thing we do love about taking the tube: the funny platform-announcer at Waterloo who always gets the whole carriage laughing!

The Week of Peeves

We don't know why, but lately Val and I have been getting much more aggravated and annoyed at everyday life than usual! Perhaps it's all of the deadlines, dissertations and exam stress of third year, or because we haven't been able to enjoy the sunshine recently due to spending all daylight hours stuck inside a library! Either way we are peeved off at just about everything. But instead of bottling all of this inside we decided to unleash our frustrations for your enjoyment.


Every evening this week, we will list our top peeves. Monday's for example will be TFL, and each night to follow will list something different that gets our goat...


We welcome your suggestions, so please do leave comments if there is anything in particular in our categories that drives you up the wall, round the bend and back again!


Check back tomorrow night to see what TFL (a.k.a Total Failure of London) does that really peeves us off!





Tuesday - Facebook (those emtional statuses)
Wednesday - Things people say (banter)
Thursday - Things people do (walking the wrong way up stairs)
Friday - Things that happen in everyday life (forgetting our umbrella, only to find a downpour)

The not so "Great Escape"

The other week I read something in ShortList that completely terrified me. I went home and showed it to Val, who was equally disturbed. No, we’re not talking about a weird murder mystery, a psychopath on the loose, or a new Saw-esque thriller starring Justin Bieber (although that would be pretty petrifying!). Instead what scared me was an article about a new Blackberry app….

Val and I are no strangers to technology, we have a Blackberry and an iPhone 4 between us and are both avid users of the app downloads these phones come with, but this new app being launched by Blackberry takes the advancements of technology to a whole new level of creepy. Let us tell you more….

The new BB Travel app allows its users to look up their flight details (which is useful), it alerts the user of any delays and boarding gate details (even more useful), it scans their emails for any flight bookings and creates an itinerary for them (which is great!) And it syncs to your LinkedIn profile to tell you which of your contacts is travelling, when they’re departing, and where they’re heading to, in order to determine the likelihood of you bumping in to them at the aiport (fantas…… wait a minute… that sounds really creepy!)

 

To us, this is a classic case of technology going that step (or more like a gigantic skip, hop and a leap!) too far. Why on earth would you want your LinkedIn connections, presumably including your boss and colleagues, knowing exactly when you decide to get away, where from and where to? Surely taking a holiday and escaping from it should involve a bit of privacy? The Blackberry app makers clearly disagree…

To be honest, we’re worried about what’s going to happen next. Don’t get us wrong, we love our smartphones and we love their apps, but we think we love our privacy just that little bit more!

The not-so-easy access to the World's knowledge...

Right, so this weekend I thought rather than having my usual lie-in, followed by a generous helping of coffee from my beautifully simple, two-buttoned Nespresso machine, and a 45-minute session of aimless facebooking, I thought I’d accompany my fellow housemates to the British library to get a head-start on some coursework.

Now, I was warned by the girls that to be allowed access to the building’s precious reading rooms, I’d need to bring two pieces of identification and a list of the books that I hope to use once I get there. I was also informed that I wouldn’t be able to bring any: liquids (including bottled water!), food (slightly more understandable), pens (with an odd emphasis on “biros”!), handbags, or jackets (which is really convenient considering how cold it is in there), into the reading room. So, before leaving the house, I made sure to pack my passport and ID Card, as well as my well-prepared reading list.

Once we arrived at the British Library, and had gone through their security check at the entrance, we had to cram all of our stuff into a locker. We then had to place those few items that we are allowed to bring into the reading room (so basically, a pencil) into a transparent plastic bag. I then headed to the registration office where I’d show my ID, answer some questions, and hopefully get my British Library Card. It always really excites me when I can add a new card to my purse, although with all the loyalty cards I now own, I’m probably the least “loyal” person in London.

However, once I got into the office, I was told that not only did I need to have two pieces of identification and my reading list, but I also needed an original copy of a document with my proof of address! Well, I didn’t have any, but I wasn’t about to give up that easily, so I took out my trustworthy iPhone, hit the “Around Me” App, and searched for my nearest Barclays where I could print off a bank statement. I found one and headed towards it feeling pleasantly pleased with my tactful use of Apps, and the knowledge that I’d have a new card to add to my collection by the end of the day. Nevertheless, of course once I got there, I realised it was Saturday which means the banks are closed.

I think it’s safe to say that the only “knowledge” I gained from this experience is that the British Library’s Café makes a less-than-decent cup of coffee.

Our movie of the weekend!

Diverging away from our usual romcoms and chic-flicks, Keli and I decided to go and see the new action/thriller starring Liam Neeson (a.k.a. the man we believe has one of the sexiest voices on the planet), Unknown. Now, from the trailer, we were expecting this film to be pretty good – Basic synopsis: a man goes to Berlin with his wife for a conference and once they get to their hotel, he realises he left his briefcase with their passports back at the airport. So he grabs a taxi and heads back to the airport, but on the way, gets into a terrible car accident that results in him being in a coma for the next 4 days. Naturally, when he wakes up in hospital days later, he is extremely confused as to why his wife isn’t there by his bedside, or more importantly, why a missing persons report hasn’t been issued in search of him. He immediately goes to find his wife who he assumes must be distraught not knowing where he’s been for the past 4 days! However, once he finally tracks her down, she’s unaware of whom he is….or so we think…DUM DUM DUM!

The film basically felt like a 1 hour and 45 minute adrenaline rush – every few minutes someone would be jumping out of a moving vehicle, or fist-fighting a guy twice their size (and winning obviously!), or simply passing out and waking up somewhere completely different. Some jumpy bits that get your heart beating a little faster than usual, extremely convincing acting on Neeson, Diane Kruger, and January Jones’ (can’t get over how awesome her name is!) part, combined with an intelligent twist at the end, leaves you with the feeling that you got your money’s worth. All in all, we’d say that it’s definitely one worth seeing, especially if you’re in the mood for a bit of a thrill!